Not gunna lie this blog is a bit of mess.
Warning 100% mobile blogging.
Australia/27/F Multi Fandom but primary Hannibal

 

mumblingsage:

My medieval and ancient ancestors watching me trying to charge my laptop and connect to WiFi: Ah, yes, she must feed her magic mirror on the telluric current and summon the spirits of knowledge from the aether.

My ancestors watching me proceed to doomscroll on Twitter: Alas! She is beguiled by the cruel babblings of the demons within the mirror; soon she will descend into melancholy from the things she has witnessed.

Anonymous asked

may i enquire what is the seedless watermelon and why does it triumph?

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys:

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys:

It’s in reference to this comic, which made me laugh so hard I couldn’t breathe the first time I ever saw it, and is the second funniest image I have ever seen in my life. So I use it as my humour tag.

image

randomletters92:

Wait what was number 1?

Number 1 is this absolute masterpiece:

image

It’s literally been years, but it still makes me actively laugh out loud. I never tire of it. We were trying to make plans with friends once, and Steff in the group chat said “Well, I have no gigs this weekend and Elanor’s plan is just to look at her clock picture, so we’re free.” He wasn’t wholly wrong.

In a world where I saw this one first, the tag would have been “sweet fucking eardrums it’s nine o'clock”.

take-a-dip-in-the-deadpool:

I have never seen bigger dick energy in my entire life!! Holy fuck this woman is queen shit!!

derinthescarletpescatarian:
“schwarz-gerat:
“sronti:
“Do this tomorrow.
”
The best time to destroy a golf course was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
”
Be careful about what you plant because depending on your area that golf soil could be...

derinthescarletpescatarian:

schwarz-gerat:

sronti:

Do this tomorrow.

The best time to destroy a golf course was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

Be careful about what you plant because depending on your area that golf soil could be heavy metalled all to shit. Check before growing fruit or veg in your fun new neighbourhood.

beodas:

imconfusedallthetimehelp:

our-queer-experience:

Welcome to all of you who recently followed me. It's wonderful to see you all. This is me after 43 years on estrogen (and, of course, 43 years older as well). No more glamour photos for me, but I'm very happy. Have a glorious day, everyone! pic.twitter.com/YgXWQQTDHJ  — Teresa Palomar, Your Trans Matriarch (@TeresaPalomar1) July 12, 2023ALT

we DO grow old and happy. btw.

image

And you find love and it stays with you.

I’m not crying your crying!

helloitsbees:
“kalesrebellion:
“So funny story actually. One of my friends was hooking up with this girl, they were friends with benefits. She needed a date for some work party so he agreed to go with her. Turns out her dad owns like 3 dental...

helloitsbees:

kalesrebellion:

So funny story actually. One of my friends was hooking up with this girl, they were friends with benefits. She needed a date for some work party so he agreed to go with her. Turns out her dad owns like 3 dental practices and she worked as the business manager for one of them.

Anyway my friend had some not so nice teeth and during dinner the father of his fwb was like “you work where you work, you sleep with him and his teeth look like that? Get him an appointment.”and then bounced. So his fwb made him an appointment at the practice she managed and my friend ended up needing like 3k worth of dental work and his friend with benefits just gave it to him for free.

So that is the story of how my friend not only got sex, but dental out of the friends with benefits deal.

image

thenewborndeity:

solkorolevaa:

the-haiku-bot:

mellointheory:

the-haiku-bot:

mellointheory:

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

Who makes the porn bots.

Where do they come from. What do

they hope to achieve.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.

do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?

My voice repeats what

you all say: I love you I

love you I love you.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

image

This. This is the first time. The only time. That it was not an echo. It was not found. Oh god.

pasteboard:

image

hey netizens! i’m not sure how many people are aware, but youtube’s been slowly rolling out a new anti-adblock policy that can’t be bypassed with the usual software like uBlock Origin and Pi-Hole out of the gate

BUT, if you’re a uBlock Origin user (or use an adblocker with a similar cosmetics modifier), you can add these commands in the uBlock dashboard (under My Filters) to get rid of it!

youtube.com##+js(set, yt.config_.openPopupConfig.supportedPopups.adBlockMessageViewModel, false)

youtube.com##+js(set, Object.prototype.adBlocksFound, 0)

youtube.com##+js(set, ytplayer.config.args.raw_player_response.adPlacements, [])

youtube.com##+js(set, Object.prototype.hasAllowedInstreamAd, true)

reblog to help keep the internet less annoying and to tell corporations that try shit like this to go fuck themselves <3